Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Babies born sleeping

stars

In the past two days, two of my friends – who don’t know each other – lost their unborn babies halfway through their pregnancies. One of their losses came a day after her friend died of cancer. It’s not often I’m lost for words, but this week, I am. It’s hard to know what to say or do in times of unbearable heartbreak, and this is all I could manage. So to E and to A, this is for you… xx
Our thoughts are with you
Our tears are for you
Our invisible hugs are for the babies born sleeping
And we’ll wish upon the shiny new stars in the sky that your pain is gone soon

23 Responses to “babies born sleeping…”

  1. That is so sad to hear, and I really feel for your friends. I lost my son 2 and half years ago, with only 5 weeks to go before his due date. There was no explanation as to why his little life was cut so short, and why we will never get to see his beautiful shining face grow into that of a charming young man. The only comfort we can take from his incredibly sad loss from our lives is with the incredible love we feel for his twin brother who survived. It is because of him we have rediscovered what it means to smile again and with each day he brings more happiness into our broken hearts. So I understand what you friends must be going through, and just know that as a friend, there is really nothing you can say to make it better for them… just being there, being supportive when they need you to be, and acknowledging that child as the special member of their family that they were imagining it would be for many years to come.
  2. belinda says:
    E,
    Some angels are just to precious to stay.
    Tonight I will look into the sky & see a new star.
    I will pray for you & wish you, R & O all the best.
    Death leaves a heart ache no one can heal but love leaves a memory no one can steal..
    Belinda, Stephen, Ronan & Chelsea.
  3. Jo Price says:
    The Australian Community of Child Photographers is a volunteer, charitable network of photographers dedicated to giving the gift of photographic memories to families affected by stillbirth, premature birth and paediatric illness in a compassionate, caring and heartfelt manner.http://www.acocp.org.au/
  4. Kerri says:
    My thoughts and prayers are with your friends.
    x
  5. Jo Price says:
    …ooops sorry – I submitted before I had a chance to finish off. There is nothing that we can say, although I feel that this is a very important organisation that deserves a mention in such times. This foundation is very close to my heart and takes a step towards acknowledging these precious and much loved babes.
  6. Julie says:
    Oh how very sad. What a challenging life moment that must be for that family, and all who love them. I’ll say a wish for both of them before I go to sleep tonight.
  7. captain kk says:
    what a hard, terribly sad thing to have to face. wishing your friends lots of love, support & courage.
  8. SquiggleMum says:
    I think you said it perfectly. And all the blogging mamas said, “Amen.”
  9. This is so hard for people to cope with sometimes, the loss, with no explanation, its very hard to move on sometimes. I’ll cut and paste her a poem written by Lisa Bowen in 2007, a poem she wrote for her dear children b4 she died from cancer, she left them with this beautiful poem, (you can google her name and read her story if you like – I am always in such awe of people like Lisa, who now, has deceased).. it’s quite sad, but such a lovely poem, it may touch your friends somehow. It’s called “A Thought to Keep”
    I’ll give you this one thought to keep I am with you still – I do not sleep I am a thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glints on snow I am sunlight on ripened grain I am the gentle Autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning hush I am the swift, uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not think of me as gone I am with you still – in each new dawn.
    Lisa Bowen (2007)
  10. shelley t says:
    crying, crying, crying – the tears fall for these precious people and their precious babies. you’re right, b, there are no words. just incredibly sad. bonnie babes foundation is an incredible network of support. i will be sending positive thoughts to your friends, may they be surrounded by the support and love of friends and family. x
  11. *hugs*
    *thoughts*
    *dreams of sweet angels*
    and holding my kids a little tighter today…
  12. Audrey says:
    My thoughts and strength are going out to those two women and their families. How sad… it’s just painful.
    xxxxx
  13. Katrina says:
    Am feeling very sad, not sure what to say. Hopefully God will give some strength xx
  14. BK says:
    Times like this, I found myself speechless too. Sending positive thoughts to the family and hope that they will find the strength to move on.
  15. I know how it feels to lose a baby and all a friend can say is ‘I’m so sorry’. Be there to listen, mention their babies – they’re sad already. It’s ok. They may need to talk. Let them tell their stories. It’s an awful, awful time, and they just need to be looked after on their grief journey. You are a good friend and this is a lovely post.
  16. Piper says:
    I’m so sorry to hear this…my heart just dropped. My thoughts are with them and with you. All you can do is be there to listen and be in their lives…your post was lovely.
  17. Amanda says:
    Oh how terrible Belinda! I can’ t fathom how heartbreaking that must be for them – they are in my thoughts and prayers x
  18. Erica Cook says:
    My mother lost a full term baby girl in delivery before me. Such a sad loss.
    Sometimes the only thing that makes anything better is knowing people care and understand.
    This is certainly no comparison, but, my third child was critically ill at birth and was touch and go for a week.
    I was, and still am, so profoundly touched by those who kept us in their prayers, shared their stories, and truly empathized (some were complete strangers that to this day I have not met) Wishing you and your dear friends love and strength. xo
    ps- your post was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in a long time. I hope they know how much you love them.
  19. simply grove says:
    Wow! You are all in my thoughts and prayers Belinda.
  20. Maggie May says:
    I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks last June, and any and every word of love and compassion was important to me. I’m glad you reached out to them.
  21. Ingrid says:
    ‘Perhaps they are not stars
    but rather openings in heaven
    where the love of our lost ones
    pours through.’
    Eskimo Proverb.
    May these families find comfort in the knowledge that those shining openings above are always there, always reaching out and always touching their hearts.
    Ingrid x
  22. L says:
    I have had 12 pregnancies… we have one little boy. Nothing anyone has ever said could comfort me. There is nothing to say. It is about a kind gesture, a listening ear. And sometimes someone to sob with you. Sometimes it is someone telling you a joke. but nothing makes it any better. I have heard it all. Most of those phrases we often say made me feel worse (it was meant to be or maybe next time). It gets easier but it never goes away. I thought I had heard it all but had never heard the phrase ‘babies born sleeping’. THAT i actually find beautiful and comforting. Thank you. I will think in these term from now on. However.. my heart breaks for your friends. My eyes are filled with tears and I will wish upon shiny new stars tonight for them both and their families.

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